Wednesday, September 11, 2013

一个傻女孩的故事 —————— 紫瞳

  紫瞳以前在学校时,是个万受瞩目的一个人物。时常不顾一切地帮助别人,不求回报。认为大家都是真心真意的和她当朋友,也没去顾虑的那么多。直到出来社会,某些人改变了她的想法,让她认为她并没有那么多朋友,只是个可怜的孤独者而已。
 
  她找到了一群兴趣一致的朋友,然而成天与她们去实现她的梦想。知道自己很要好的朋友不爱参与这些活动,还是一直问她们要不要一起参与 。但是听到拒绝的答案太多了,所以往后的活动也自作主张的否定她们会出席。直到有一次,要好的朋友抱怨了,甚至把气氛闹僵了,最终也吵架翻脸了。她尝试着一次又一次的挽留她所真心交的朋友,但是因为忽略了她们而造成无法挽留的局面。

  现在的她,已不再像以前那么开朗活泼,反而变成情绪化。她也搞不清楚,现在自己要的是什么? 也看不到什么真正的友谊! 她尝试付出真心,也为自己所珍惜的人制造一些生日惊喜。但是她自己的生日却只是收到祝福,而无人为她庆祝。只是自己为自己烘粒蛋糕,自己为自己唱生日歌,自己吹蜡烛许愿。也许大家都在忙吧? 她是这么想,也没去怨谁。
她很在乎朋友们的心情,常常配合着她们的情绪做事情,可以说是没有了自我。

  每当和她的朋友出去,她的朋友眼光却只是注视着那位散发着光芒的女孩,而把她冷落在一边。她也不哭不闹,就这样静静坐在旁边,默默地看着她们,自己在那边陪笑。有时候且是静到好像没有她的存在。朋友们才来一幅不开心的脸问她为何一个人在角落边 “emo “ ? 她也不懂得要如何回答,只好傻笑地说没事,你们继续玩吧! 她在想,她应该是又把气氛搞砸了吧?
 
  朋友们的一个眼神,一句不经意的话语,在朋友的眼里看是无意义的玩笑。但是在她的心里却造成了蛮大的伤害。她的心里开始纠结着,开始胡思乱想,是不是自己那里不好。是不是自己很惹人厌? 为什么大家都这样刺伤她? 然后心情开始又差起来了。
 
  不知何时开始,她对人与事物开始有了三百六十度大转变。她开始认为没有人喜欢她,甚至讨厌她,对每个她身边的人都开始失去了信任。也开始的不再去付出。朋友的忽略,她开始抱怨了,甚至发脾气! 她自己搞不懂为何会变成这样,她尝试着压抑自己的情绪,但还是在朋友的面前爆发了出来。虽然等到她的情绪稍微的冷静了下来,她变得温和些的和朋友们谈吐。但是她心里知道,朋友们开始讨厌她了!
 
  现在的她被怨恨支配着,失去了理智。开始追逐身边的人从她的生活中消失,就这样自己变成了孤独者。她享受着孤单,偶尔怀念和朋友们的快乐时光,偷偷留下眼泪。但是她心里打从一开始就知道,自己做出了这样的选择,也不能怨什么。已经再也回不到从前了。就像打破的盘子无法在拼回去一样。现在的她已经习惯了这一切,开始觉得累了。想放弃一切,从这世界上消失,痛恨自己的情绪化,更痛恨自己!但是她知道,如果她就这样结束自己的生命,伤心得永远会是她的妈妈。所以,她选择了忍耐! 现在亲情可以说是她唯一的支柱!

  如果你们身边真有这样的一个人,请好好珍惜她。不要等到她性格扭曲了,才来讨厌她!因为她已不能再承受任何的痛了! 虽然她做错了很多事情,但是希望大家能够再去支持她。不要在唾弃她,好不?

 

  

Monday, September 9, 2013

S.A.D ='(

  I ain't to hurt anyone,
but I'm just feel I'm easy to hurt their feeling who beside me alway~ TT^TT Don't know why, I feel that I'm the one who always bring unhappy, sadness, and angry for my friends. Maybe I'm the sadness people who can't bring a little happy atmosphere? Unhappy everywhere at the place I exist.

  So sorry about that, I not mean to hurt anyone really. I keep to change and change, but feel like useless, and now I getting tired. Try to keep people's eyes on me, but alway get ignore from them. Why??? That the faith for me??? Why no one will care about me even my feeling, but I'm the one who take care of them? Why??? I'm so sad sometime, why they doing that to me? Can't I get respect from you all?

  I'm really very tired now, tired for everything. Feel like to give up all the things, be the loner! So that I can't hurt anyone again. Don't blame me! If I try to chase you out from my life. Just let me be the loner!
 

Monday, July 15, 2013

A trip to Pantai Kerachut! XDD

  Last saturday, I went to Pantai Kerachut with my friends.
We almost taked two hours to reach pantai kerachut by hiking to there.
Of cause include the take photo sessions! XDD

 Middle the way, my friend feel abit fainted,
so we pause there and let her rest.
Luckily nothing serious happened!
 We saw the waterfall, the water touched very cold!
But we not dare to drink! haha

We also met a lot of peoples from not same country,
as Japan, Jerman, Taiwan, and England, and of cause Malaysia!
We just take a poke like usually,
they are very friendly~
And the aunty from taiwan accompany us on the long way~
We shared, chat, and joke! That's just make more fun in our journey!

Finally we reached Pantai Kerachut! A beautiful view welcome us!
But before that, we got to pass though the bridge~ But Evyone scare the high place,
so I let her to caught my hand to walk thought! But she make pain my hand! TT^TT
 
When we gather all out members, then realise that we lost our girls Serena and Ning Yih!
Joyin worries them, so we decided going to find them. And left of them take a shortly rest and having their snacks there. We though they are on top of the rock, but not them~
But we just get attract from the scene we saw until forgot them, we just take photo until Evyone and Nic come and inform us they come back already!
So bad we are! XDD

After that,
we play volleyball and monkey caught!
Until the time the boat reached!
But unluckily when we sails half of the sea,
we encounter the big waves!
And make Evyone more worries and scare!
But Nic, Joyin and I just very enjoy the moment! Haha XDD
Really very fun! I love it!!!

Luckily, we reach it safety!
Thanks god!

I swear,
I will come again on the futher!
Pantai Kerachut,
please wait for my next coming! XDD





The Map to guide us how to get there!

The entrance!
Our family picture! XDD 

 I'm so chok! haha XDD
Goin' in the tunnel! Woohoo~haha

Reach...Our Pantai Kerachut! XDD

 Enjoy the wind and the sun the everything on the top of the rock!

 Take off our shoes to make us easy to walk on the beach!
 Before sail!

 Woohoo! Aw~ <3
  Bye~ Pantai Kerachut! TT^TT

Monday, June 24, 2013

Famine 30 2013 =)


Just come back from camp Famine 30~ ♥
Fight for hunger in 30 hours...
Hard to believe that's I really make it with my friends! XDD

Have a lot of fun in the camp,
although I fall in boredom of some activity...
But I know that's they doing and handle hard for the activities!
Really a big salute for them...
They really done a best job! l3 ^.^ l3

We feel very happiness and happy
when the time we have our V-soy and bread!
Normal peoples won't know the feeling,
but just Famine 30 members~

Inside the camp,
make me think back my life in NS~
Sleep, chat, play, share, care with friends!
I really miss the time we together...
I hope that I can back to the time and stay there! ='(


Saturday, June 15, 2013

F**k You!!!

My heart for the friendship I believe until today already dead!!!
Dissapointed!!!
I feel very disspointed to them and feel sad for this kind of friendship!

In their world,
I lost my freedom!
I can't belong my own friends!
This use to call true friends???

OMG!!!
My mum give me a life for me to come not to bare yours fucking emotion!
I got my own activities need to follow!
The time already not enough for me!
But they still want me to follow their foot steps to do what they want!
Do I look like a dog???
Fuck! You bitch!

I ask you guys join the events with me, but you guys alway rejected me!
Say that what boredom, not meaning...
Then blame me now, I didn't hang out with you to shopping!
I pay the installment for my car, already not enough money for me to buy what I need!
But they still want me go for shopping? Fuck!

Can't you stand at my opinion even one time???
Can't you???

Thursday, June 6, 2013

06.06.2013



Do you know what the feeling tears dropping from eyes???
I'm bet you never know it!

Sometime,
tears will drop your mood, instead help you release all the bad mood!
But, I don't think that's use for me!

Well,
feeling upset, dissapointed, anger!
Hate mself !!! Really !!!
Can I leave here?
And will the hell welcome me to join in?

I just need a place to escape from this cruel world!
This world really fill a lot of hurt!
Even that I'm can't find a little bit happy and happiness!

God,
please just let me have a place to protect myself!
I don't want to get hurt anymore,
that's pain! Really very pain!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Drop to low mood!



Well,
I don't know how can I described my mood now!
Just feel tired for all! Dissapointed!
You know what the feeling of a person dropping to hell from the heaven???
That's the one can described my status now!
Sign~

Can't I blame who,
that's my fate!
Must to face it!
But I felt that I din't have enough courage!

Sign~
I don't know what can I do now?
Should I just give up the all???

Monday, May 6, 2013

04.05.2013

04.05.2013~
We be the one day celebrities,
wait for another makeup and set everything! XDD

The dress for me was damn long and weird!
Maybe not suite me?haha

We also enjoy the rich man and girl's life that night!
Seriously, was boring for me!
Nothing special!

Of course we take a lot of pictures and also with the bride and her daughther!
She such as the beautiful bride I never met before!
Leng luii! <3

Part 2,
we change to the casual wear! Comfort for me!
We finished the 10th anniversary wedding with flash mob!
Even very tired for us,
but we still feel that enjoy and happy!
XDD

Was a special day for me! =)


We are the WALTZ dancers! <3







Girl Waltz dancers!





Monday, April 22, 2013

“牛牛”的生日!

昨天 21/04/2013,是我们的寿星婆 “牛牛”生日!
我也特定烘焙了一粒蛋糕给她...
以简单的仪式,
帮她庆祝!

我对我的作品很没有信心,
而且巧克力也溶化了! TT^TT
本来美美的蛋糕差一点也毁了!

但是我却得到了她们的鼓励和赞成,
这也让我更有勇气往前走下去!

谢谢你们,
真的很幸福有你们这群朋友!
爱你们啊!!!

还有,
我们的 Nic Chew 姐姐,
生日快乐!
Friend Forever! XDD





寿星婆准备切蛋糕!

给她的礼物,希望她真的喜欢! ^^

Friday, March 1, 2013

01/03/2013

  其实很想要样样都做到最好的! 把最好的自己呈现出来,只想获得大家的承认与赞赏。但往往都被人孤立、忘记。难道我真的只是个不起眼的家伙吗? 或者我注定被人看死一辈子? 也许我存在感很低吧~

  怎么我好像都找不回原始的我? 原本乐观的我? 感觉现在我拥有的只是寂寞与难过,有时候甚至想与这世界隔离,把自己关在一个无人的地方孤独终老。

  也许我只是一个笨蛋,什么都不会的笨蛋,所以全部人甚至是物都嫌弃我、远离我。我到底要怎么做,你们才会接受一个这样的我啊? 面对所有的一切,我都感到好压力啊! 想找个倾诉的对象也没有!

  哎,如果人没有回忆、没有感情,那该有多好啊? 这样我就不会觉得那么痛苦了。

Friday, February 1, 2013



Many things happen recently and change my mind. I decide to quit the dance life, and start my baking life.
Is that I'm making the right way?Should I just give up the dance, my dream simply?But they just force me to do that.

WTH of the friendship can I believe again???It's just make me hurt, upset & dissapointed again. Well,
maybe I'm too sensitive to mean it, but...sigh~ Maybe the most know persons and the persons you believe most really will bring a lot of hurt for you, and I can prove it!

Everytime argue and clashes just I'm make the apologize even not my wrong, but they doesn't. I do that, just because I treasure this friendship, but they didn't mean it. They just handling this such as usually what I need to do to them. Is that a fair? God tell me please! Why my life so miserable? Can you just interpreted? Is that I no deserve a little bit respect from them? Sigh~

I don't know how to comfronting for the next coming friendship? Maybe just disguise I'm good in everything to face them. Cotinue tortured... Or I think I should just act like a crab, hide inside the shell forever, like that just won't get hurt anymore.

My family getting broken soon, and I don't know how to face the problem. Seem like the god like to give me a hard challege!Uh-huh~ Haha~ I'm gonna going crazy for this all already, can I just escape it? Can I dump this all? I dont't want to live in this uneasy world anymore! I'm really can't bear it anymore! Someone please tell me that's just a hoax, please!!!!!!